Crying

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Home : 2005 : March : 3

Crying
By Nora

Well, it is a very stressful time, nobody who has been through it can deny that. I cried once while I was student teaching, but I was fortunate enough that it was at a time that I was able to go into the washroom. I always
felt so unorganized while student teaching, but when I voiced those concerns to my coop, she said she thought organization was one of my strongest points. When I thought about it, I WAS always prepared, on time, had my lessons, etc prepared in advance...really, there was nothing that I could really say I was unorganized with. I just FELT unorganized. It was just all so stressful,

not only living up to everyone else's expectations, but especially living up to my own expectations. It went so fast and felt like I never had a break during that time. When I look back on it now, it was really that I had such high standards for myself that I did not feel I was living up to them. I am subbing now, and now that I am more used to it, I just consistently remind myself that I can only do the best I can. It really helps. All teachers are still learning, you as a ST cannot expect yourself to go in there and do it all. I am sure nobody expects that of you. I bet you are also having problems sleeping and probably not eating normally and just stressed right out, which would make you more emotional than normal. Just try to take care of yourself, remember that it will all be over soon enough, and try not to be so hard on yourself. Even though I am way more comfortable now in a classroom than I was when I was ST'ing, there are still times I want to cry. For me, I think it is partly that some things are just out of my control, and I am sort of, I guess, a controlling person. I love feeling "planned" and "ready to go". However, teaching is not like that. You get used to it. Maybe you could just talk to your CT and explain that you are feeling unorganized and does she have any tips for you? I, personally, was really discouraged when I read the post about how unprofessional crying is. I mean, sure, ideally, a person would not cry at work, but sometimes, you just can't help it. Especially right before my period, I get so ridiculously emotional over nothing at all. So, I guess it depends what kind of person you are, maybe we are just of the more emotional type, but I would definitely not think it "looks bad" when you cry and I would not hold you at fault for it at all. Do whatever you can to take it easy on yourself. You can only do so much.