"Jason III"

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Home : 2005 : January : 11

"Jason III"
By Carolyn

It sounds like this kid is desperately trying to get attention. Without actually seeing this kid, it's hard to tell if he's really sick, mentally, or he's showing off to get attention. More often than not, it's kids who
are just trying to get attention who act this way. I have had kids in the past who say stuff that is really drastic to see if: a) they can get a rise out of me, or b) they can get a rise out of the class. Such attention is very satisfying, I guess at least for a little while. Of course, the child has to be constantly "fed" a diet of such attention, so the behavior continues. Question

is: Does he usually try to get attention? If so, have you spoken with the guidance counselor about meeting with him to get to the root of his problem? Problems at home?

On the other hand, I worked with one child one year who was mentally ill. Mom thought it was our problem, it seemed, not hers. We were always the ones who were wrong about how we handled the child. She never saw the gang symbols he drew on things, nor did she see the sorts of things that you describe about your kid that my student did. Unfortunately, the problems only escalated to the point where one day he threatened to slice my throat with a knife. That was witnessed by a teacher assistant at our school, and the child was removed. Even then, at the meeting with the principal, the child's mother tried to find some sort of fault with the way I handled things. I certainly would document what this child does, and I can see that you have done this. If he were my student, he would have been referred to the child study team with all of that documentation.

It sounds as if Mom is probably aware that there is trouble in "paradise," and she is trying to avoid you. Maybe she is afraid of you. Maybe she is afraid of what you will tell her. When you call, act very pleasant, and maybe she will be more receptive. If she doesn't come after you request, perhaps you can have your principal call to make the request. Meet with parent and child in the office with the principal. I did that a few times, and the child usually is quite humbled!