Problem

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Home : 2004 : November : 16

Problem
By Kerry

It sounds to me like you know already what the problem is:

"His home situation stinks...parents apart for 2 years; divorce just finalized. The parents do not get along and he wants to live with his Dad, not mom, as he
currently does."
Unless a person has been through the experience of a nasty divorce, they can't know what it feels like and the emotional turmoil it can cause ... especially in a pre-adolescent who needs a male figure.
I think your reward system is too much to start. Instead of not talking out once during an entire one hundred minute block (I don't think even I could swing that one

and I don't have a problem talking out), you need to break it down so it's more successul for him ... try not talking out every 25 minutes to earn a sticker, work up to 50 minutes, then 75, then 100 as he becomes more self-controlled. It should be this way in every block. When he has earned a full week of not talking out every 25 minutes in each block, then he should earn a free lunch.

Also, FYI, I doubt at the 6th grade level he's concerned with stickers.

What you're asking him to do is far too much ... ease up.

Also, I don't think separating him from his peers is effective ... making him sit in an isolated area. This is probably embarassing to him and is negative for the other kids as well.

In regards to wanting attention, that seems pretty common sense to me.

Children are very good at knowing WHY rules need to be followed ... we need to help them actually follow the rules.