resigning--long

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Home : 2004 : November : 13

resigning--long
By d

I have been teaching for 8 years. I am a perfectionist who allows her work to consume her. Today, for instance, I spent six hours working at school; it's Saturday. I took my kids--2 girls-- with me, and I know that they
should have been watching cartoons. I also leave school around 5:00 each day and still bring work home with me. I am a little too dedicated. I couldn't live with myself if I were to take a leave of absence and get paid for it. I know that may sound crazy, but that is just the way I am.
In addition, my family has suffered tremendous loss: I am only 31 and lost my father to hospital

error--I was with him when he died. Furthermore, my husband,32, lost his father--49, his brother 29, our two nephews-9 months and 2 years on the same day in a car accident involving a semi truck. We lost them all within a year. So, to be frank I don't think I have given myself or my family time to heal. I have ignored the realities and now things are catching up with me--I think. I poured myself into my work; I was even named "Teacher of the Year" last year. But, I can't take the pressure anymore. I am an awesome teacher, but I have neglected my own children and my own grief long enough. I need more than a two week break so that my focus can return. I am sure that I will go back to teaching, but right now I can't give to my students what I think they deserve. And, I know that my own kids will need me more.