Between a rock and a hard place

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Home : 2004 : November : 12

Between a rock and a hard place
By Cathy-Dee

I guess it really does depend on your administration. If the teachers in your school are saying this then I'm guessing they have been burned in the past or have seen colleagues in trouble because of this.

A good administrator
deals with difficult students OR gives you the means to deal with those children yourself because you have adequate classroom support. However we do not always have good administration in our schools.
If this child is out of control and in danger of hurting himself, you or other children then he should be referred to the office immediately.
If he is not listening to you then

you need to find ways to deal with his behaviour because while sending to the office gives you a brief respite it is not the answer.

Take one week to document everything - every time he is out of line, when he is good, etc., Basically make notes for every class. See if there is a pattern. Perhaps certain subjects set him off, or he is worse in the afternoon or first thing in the morning. Then during those times - pay more attention to him. Seat him in an area you walk by frequently stop and just ask him how things are going. Sometimes we can head off the behaviour before it starts.

Talk to your administrator about him - ask him or her what their thoughts are. Ask them if they would have a problem with you calling home and sometimes even sending the child home when he is having a bad day. If you know what your administration will support it helps you make better plans for the classroom.

We have a difficult child in grade 2 and if he gets 3 strikes his family is called and he goes home. He was sent home a couple of times but he doesn't like it so now it is rare he gets to this point.

We have also found using the word choice really helps some of these children. You can choose to sit and do your work or you can choose to have a x on the board. It is not - if you do not sit down I'm giving you a "x". The later is what many of us do or have done because we react to their negative behaviour.

Anyway I know you were not asking for ideas specifically - but I just felt like reflecting and sharing.

The bottom line is you need to do what is best for your students - but also keep in mind that sometimes you have to cover your own back as well. Keeping his behaviour documented is very important - also make sure any other teachers who deal with him also make notes to give to you. This way if your administration is unhappy with you sending him to the office - you can pull out all your notes and say - this is what I deal with all week long and when I sent him to the office we were at the point of no-return and both he and I needed a time-out.

However it is a good idea to try to figure out ways to deal with this student in class rather than sending to the office for as much of the times as possible.

Oh yes and his comment on lack of medication affecting him. Tell him that you do not accept this excuse - tell him that he can behave fine when he chooses to as you have seen that especially during "gym, art, music" whichever classes he seems to do fine in. Then let him know that since you know he can make good choices that is what you are expecting from him.

And keep trying to work with the mom - chances are she is just as frustrated at home but doesn't want anyone to think she is a bad parent. Try to hook her in by showing support and understanding and ask her if she has successful ways of dealing with certain behaviours at home that she could share with you. She may just not want to hear bad things all the time.

Hope something I wrote makes sense and helps