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Home : 2004 : July : 22

cliques
By Connie

I seek to get along professionally with everyone I work with and to be pleasant and helpful to all. I also have a few close friends after working in the same building for over 15 years. I trust these people, I trust
their opinions and they have earned this friendship by being there for me during some difficult times. I would imagine a new person would view us as a clique, but I look for certain characteristics in a person before I am willing to spend my precious time with them socially. These people aren't in competetion with me and we have a helpful relationship. I add new friends when I see that

I am not being used, that my confidences are kept and that they have integrity and protect mine. We have all been burned too many times to give our inner circle friendships aware too quickly.

These people, like myself, are the first to mentor (without pay) and are usually liked by all. I think expecting a deep friendship too soon is not realistic and is perhaps shows that a person doesn't understand real friendship. I think people who put pressure for coworkers to socialize are being unfair to many. Although I am way past this stage, I really worry about all the young mothers who work with me. I say to them "Go home and enjoy your children. We'll go out for coffee when they are in college!"
Connie