Very frustrated!

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Home : 2004 : March : 20

Very frustrated!
By Miss C

I teach in an alternative private school where a teacher stays with the same class from Grades 1through 8. My class of 24 children is now in the 3rd grade. Last September I accepted a boy who clearly has many of the signs
of ODD. (I only encountered this term and its descriptors this past week.) This child (now 9 years old) had been held back a year in kindergarten with the hope that extra year would help him develop better impulse control and social skills. He entered the first grade a full year older than his classmates and his teacher found him virtually impossible to manage. As a well seasoned

teacher (22 years public school experience) I agreed to accept him believing that with effective classroom management and a heap of love he'd be OK. WRONG! This little guy is so completely undermining to the social fabric of my class. In all my years of teaching I have never encountered a child that I really couldn't reach.
With some extra help he has managed to pretty well catch up academically this year. He is very bright. But he shows no regard for the social conventions of the group. His constant critical commentary on what others are doing incites frustration and resentment in the other children. It is seldom possible for any of his teachers to have a smooth lesson because of his defiant, inappropriate behavior. But the biggest challenge comes at the social times of day ... before classes begin, recesses, lunch etc. I supervise all of these and there is a steady stream of complaints about and from him. He seems unable to see any connection between how he treats others and the responses he gets from them. He NEVER accepts responsibility for his behavior and has to be closely supervised at all times. I care very much about this child and can see how unhappy he is. (He seems to feel that the whole world is against him.) His parents (wonderful folks) have recently started getting counselling for him but so far I have seen no changes for the better. At this point in the year I feel so completely drained and frustrated that I feel like quitting teaching teaching altogether. I have suggested to his parents that he needs to be in a setting with fewer children so that he can get more individual help with social skills. The fact that he often resists doing what his teachers ask during lessons reinforces this idea. Besides, I don't believe I could spend another year (let alone 5) with the strain of having such a child in my class. And yet, I feel somehow that I am failing to meet my moral obligations as a teacher by asking him to leave.