A possible solution

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Home : 2003 : September : 16

A possible solution
By Cathy-Dee

I can understand why your Principal may have put this in your ball park. As the classroom teacher you have the most chance of being there for this student so by initiating the meeting you are building communication between
you and the parents. If the Principal calls the meeting she is in effect taking a lot of power from you and perhaps setting you up in a worse situation. No one likes to deal with these types of situations but unfortunately things do happen outside of school to our children that really affect what happens inside the classroom.
If you are not comfortable doing the meeting alone, ask

if either your Principal could attend the meeting with you or your Special Education Teacher. Or if your school has a counsellor.

If your Principal has more knowledge of things - see if you can find out if one parent has sole custody or if it shared. Also find out if you have to call both parents or if you can begin with just one parent.

Within the meeting, approach from the point that it is very common for children to be angry with one or both parents during a divorce. Then let them know that you do not need details of their divorce but that all you are looking for is ways to support their child and help them deal with their anger. This way they will not think you are in any way accusing them of anything and you are not judging them as well.

Ask them what they think, if they have any ideas as well.

Perhaps do some research first and look into books, programs, etc., that you could use in your classroom and bring these to the meeting as possible resources you could use with the whole class to discuss divorce (thus not singling out their child).

I think if you approach them in a gentle, concerned manner they will not be upset with and will appreciate that you have their child's welfare at heart. If you can find out through your Principal how the divorce went (was it something both parents wanted or was it a fight), it may give you better insight on how to approach them. If the parents are not getting along then it may be better to meet with them separately.

Once you make the first call - if they get upset - don't want one or the other to attend the meeting, etc., then you can always take it back to your Principal who then may need to step in. B