some advice (long)

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Home : 2003 : January : 31

some advice (long)
By j

Renee,
Don't worry about fending off her attack--once you state your case, she will probably back down. Get all of your documentation in order and if you have time this weekend, log it all into a notebook of some sort.
Then when she makes a complaint, you can counter it with comments like: I realize you are worried that I gave the wrong definition for flair. I made a mistake. I assure you, however, I corrected the mistake and made it clear to all my students that everyone is human and it could happen to anyone. We then discussed how mistakes help us to become better learners.
When she questions you

about a fifth-grader correcting your papers, admit the error and assure her it won't happen again. As for the meetings, remind her that you agreed to an immediate conference and pull out your notebook
showing her the time/date for the confirmed conference, then tell her (and show the documentation in your notebook) that on (supply date) you wrote a note informing her that you might have to cancel and remind her that she should have called to see if you were in before arriving for the meeting. As for her daughter being afraid of you, pull back and remind her of what you stated at the beginning of the year about the skills you expected your students to develop (clearly one of these must have been improving listening skills). Assure her that after you give the directions a set number of times you refuse to give them anymore. Say something like, "the issue isn't really that your daughter is afraid of me. I am more concerned that the issue is your daughter didn't hear the directions and instead of accepting responsibility for that, she is looking for outside excuses. We need to help her develop more responsibility in the classroom." For every little petty thing she brings up, you are going to need to counter it with something you stated at Meet the the teacher night or something you have in documentation. Keep reiterating that these are your classroom rules and expectations and that you do this for all of your students, not just her daughter. Be firm, be polite, be cordial, and by all means, be a broken record that keeps saying, "I understand your concern, but as you will recall, I made it very clear at Open House that....." Back everything up that you possibly can!!! As for the failing pretest--was it a fluke or does this child really struggle? If she really struggles, document all the opportunities you have given her in order to provide assistance. Remind the parent that you indicated her child was having some difficulty in certain areas at your first parent teacher conference. If the test was a fluke and she should have passed, then turn the table back to her daughter not taking responsibility for completing the test to the best of her ability. I don't know if any of this advice will help or if you can even use it. I don't know this parent nor do I think I want to, but we have all had parents that have been difficult to please. I once had a parent who wanted me fired because I spent five minutes of my science class telling a story about my infant son! Good luck--display confidence in your ability, demand support from your administrator, and yes, relax and have a good weekend!