My hopefully helpful 2 cents. (warning long)

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Home : 2003 : January : 29

My hopefully helpful 2 cents. (warning long)
By JPS

Sometimes, children just learn rotten behavior from the example their parents set, but I think you are dealing with more than a child trying to press your buttons. Somewhere underneath the attitude and improper remarks is
the real problem. Kids often develop behaviors like these in order to deal with situations they are not physically/mentally able to handle or comprehend at their age. I, of course, am no expert so you will have to decide if this is truly the case and if you want to tackle it. I have seen similar behavior in a child trying to deal with the divorce of his parents.
As far as her parents,

it sounds like the father is in denial but I bet he is already aware of the exact same behavior in his daughter that you described. I would have played on the comment “She means everything in this world to me.” Then I would offer the following which I am sure to some degree you feel also.

I love children and some time ago I made the decision to be the teacher that leaves in a child a lifelong memory of love and compassion along with the knowledge that I believed in them 110%. Just as much as any other child in my class, your daughter is now a part of our family and means everything to me. Knowing that she means everything in the world to you, I would really like to work with you in order to better understand how I can most effectively aid her in learning and make her feel comfortable.

If he still gives you a hard time you might continue on with - regardless of what the current perception of my actions are, I will always genuinely be supportive and help in her transition to her new school in any way that I can. Then I would leave it at that.

I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to say she is not that way and stick with the fact that you are ready and really are sincere in wanting to help.

Personally I believe in being very compassionate, but I do not feel that the current pay for teachers (nor any other pay) is high enough for me to compromise my morals for a parent. Having the principal behind you will definitely make things better for you. I think the father is in denial. I don’t think anyone wants their child to behave in such a way and if you handle things similar to the way I described above, then he will eventually come around.

Two other things. 1st thing (not intended at all in a negative way ) this situation seems to have you very steamed and if you were able to let some of that go, you would be more effective in working things out (I know its hard, the same thing happens to me ). 2nd thing Sorry this was so long

JPS