kids and respect

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Home : 2002 : October : 30

kids and respect
By rebecca

I work in an inner-city school with 3rd graders, and I know in their case the nasty words they use with one another and the aggressive tone they take is modeled directly after the behaviors they see at home (and, sure, some
on television, movies, etc). Many of them live in lower-income housing developments and are exposed to either relatives or neighbors who are in difficult life situations -- i.e., working constantly and under a lot of pressure, involved in drug-dealing or gang-banging, in prison. I had one girl tell me today that "My mama says that if someone push up on me, I'd better push up on them harder."

The culture they're growing up in is direct, very verbal and expressive, but it unfortunately is used a lot in a negative way. Some kids are more resilient than others, but for many it's hard to know HOW to act in a positive way. We as teachers can try to provide a space for them to practice acting in positive ways and to learn to respect themselves. We can't change their home environment, but we can try to give them a vocabulary for coping with the stress they face.

It totally feels like a losing battle, and I'm DEFINITELY still learning to handle it, but the kids are so worth it. They can be "on", they can do super work, they can get along. There's just a few more affective filters for many of these kids.