Finding your way

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Home : 2002 : October : 17

Finding your way
By Grace

Hello James,
I really am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and I know how inadequate you can feel when some children in your class are giving you a hard time. Here are a few thoughts from an old hand. First
of all, try not to focus all your energy on the few and give some thought to the other children in the class. I know that sometimes it is hard to ignore the bad behaviour because you want to jump up and down and scream at the child. In a lot of cases, this is exactly what they want- a reaction- and you are giving it to them at the moment. They are getting your attention. STOP!! THINK!!

If no one is getting hurt, ignore the bad stuff. If he throws himself on the floor, just step over him and go on. it will not happen overnight, but if you constantly ignore it and deal with the other children, giving rewards for good behaviour, they will get fed up. I'm afraid you have to be hard and say, " If it's either them or me who wins, I have to make sure it's me."
Now you have to look at some other things. Why is the child refusing to work? Is the work too hard or not challenging enough. Be honest with yourself. if it is too hard, the child is opting out of failure, by not putting himself in a situation where he can fail.
To settle this lot, I would be inclined to look for short sharp activities, with plenty of opportunities to move round the room. What about music? Have some calming music on when children come in. As a break to work you could put on some music to clap to or music to march to. You have to win them over and a carrot is better than a whip to get what you want. Shouting isn't working and will turn the other children against you, so you need to break that cycle and take them by surprise. try smiling and telling the poor souls who are doing the right thing that you are pleased. You can do it James. Don't put yourself down.
Finally, a good website with free advice on a huge range of behaviours and the dos and don'ts of dealing with them is www.disciplinehelp.com
Good luck, James. I would love you to keep me posted as to how things are going and I think your girlfriend is lucky to have such an obviously caring person to share her life with.
Bye for now
Grace