changes

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Home : 2002 : August : 13

changes
By Julianne

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this difficulty. I wish I had those magic words that could give you some much needed help. But I don't, so I'll settle for reminding you that your personal life is just that - personal.
A few years back one of my children suffered an extremely difficult and painful emotional breakdown. Not only did our family have to deal with the immediate trauma of his problems, but we also had to handle the prying of people into what was a very private family matter. Your divorce is much the same kind of situation. The difference is that sooner or later everyone will know

about the divorce as your name will change. So here's my advice, for what it's worth: Change your name when it seems right to you. The most traumatizing element of the name change is knowing that people will ask you about it. So practice a short explanation that you will recite to anyone nosy enough to ask you what happened. To close friends you can tell a longer story. But to people who are just curious you can reply with something like, "My ex-husband and I had differences that we couldn't resolve and we decided the best option was to end our marriage." If they persist in questioning you just add, "I'm not prepared to discuss that." It's really no one's business unless you make it so. Take care, and I hope this year brings a few pleasant changes for you.