Sorry to hear about this

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Home : 2002 : August : 13

Sorry to hear about this
By Cathy-Dee

Hi Barbara,

I can only imagine the pain you are going through right now. While I agree with you that we are role models in our communities, we are also human. We cannot plan our lives or what happens in them. I'm sure
you never thought in your wildest dreams that this would happen.
I think that starting the school year with your maiden name would make the most sense for several reasons....
- one many married women keep their maiden names so no one will most likely question this.
- two - if by chance you are able to work things out with your husband you can change your name the following year

instead (or even hyphenate it)
- three - if the divorce does happen in the middle of the school year that will be hard enough - you don't want to be worrying about changing your name at that time.
- four - if the divorce happens you will be upset enough without having to hear your ex-husband's last name on a daily basis.

On a personal note, please do not think of your divorce as a failure on your part. It takes two to make a marriage work and two to end it. Your husband is as much at fault. Were you able to seek help through a marriage councellor? Would your husband be willing to??????? I'm only asking because several of my friends got to the point of separation and it took some pushing by family members and friends but two couple I know did go to counselling and were able to save their marriages. Of course there are a few couples I know who didn't take that route and did get divorced in the end.
I guess I'm asking because reading between the lines I'm guessing that this separation and divorce is not your idea.

Regardless of what happens - don't forget to take care of yourself