it is really difficult

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it is really difficult
By Michelle

I wholeheartedly agree. What we put into teaching, just the general maintenance is extremely time consuming and exhausting; yet, if we wish to be the innovators we assumed we would be, we're not putting in enough time.
One of my colleagues gets to school at 6:30 and stays until 5:30, not to grade (in fact, he's behind on grading), but to search for and design innovative lessons that build literacy. He also reads constantly, runs 25 miles a week and manages to have a very deep relationship. I just want to cry. I am overweight from going home to sleep and finally eat, I want to put a ton of effort into

creating fun and educational lessonplans, but I am in the grading category. I would rather grade, plan, and sleep while I can. I hate seeing 25 pounds of paper just waiting to be read and graded. I can't even solicit anyone's help because they're just as overwhelmed. This is my fourth year of teaching, and no, it hasn't gotten any easier, just the opposite. Now, I am dependent upon to make "whole child" lessons and design and participate in committees. I should be writing grants and articles; instead, I am writing on the Proteacher.net. Where are my priorities?

Who knows, I am 37 fast going on 50. I'm never going to get the 75% pension that my colleagues are getting when they retire. If I stick to teaching, I suppose I should see 45% at my age. How dismal is that? Oh why? Why do I do it? I like my students and I like learning, but I want that bigger picture, and teaching is not it.

Oh well....sorry to be so dismal. It will get better