What to do next...

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What to do next...
By Julianne

I agree that learning to not take these things personally is important. The previous poster is correct. There's certainly more going on here and you are not the one to blame. But, now what do you do? Here's what I'd suggest.
You can't go on with the sp.ed. referral unless the parents support it. So document what you have done so far and why. Then explore what would be right for this child. Would your principal approve moving this child into another classroom at this time? Maybe that would be a good idea. The parents would undoubtedly find out that their child still had the same set of problems.

This could lead to their relenting on the idea of sp.ed. It would remove a potentially inflamatory situation from your classroom. And the teacher who got this child just might have some other ideas for her. I know this kind of move has worked out well for me once or twice. Usually, the move made no difference to the child, but plenty of difference to my classroom and to me personally. Once or twice the child thrived under the care of another teacher (darn!) and I learned from those times that I really wasn't the best teacher on the planet - ok, I already knew that. If your colleague is concerned about receiving one of your problem kids, you might suggest a trade - one of her difficult students for this one of yours. Perhaps there's a set of parents in her group that would relish a change of scenery. Or perhaps you could take the next couple of move-ins. Good luck with this situation. I know it can make you crazy. Don't let it!