As a parent of an autistic child, licenced advocate, and teacher I can tell you if a parent ever contested one of these IEP's your school district more than likely would loose. The IDEA clearly specifies who should be present at a PPT. If you have a union rep they should help you work around this so that perhaps you and this IEP person works together. Are you not this childs case manager? You should be taking the largest part of the IEP meeting. Remember IDEA is Federal law it takes presidence over state law, town proceedures and yes even Union contracts and certainly would prevail over school board policy. What does your state department of education think about this?