tough skin

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Home : 2002 : May : 5

tough skin
By Julianne

I know it's hard, but teachers have to develop a tough skin where parents are concerned. Remember that if you're having a hard time with this child for her short time in kindergarten each day, most probably her mother is
having a hard time with her at home as well. Mom may be frustrated or just plain worn out. What she says to another teacher may be more a case of venting than her actual critique of your teaching. You and this parent are both on the same page here - you both want to see this child succeed. You just don't see eye to eye about how to accomplish that.
I agree that you may want an exit

conference with this mom. Having a neutral party, like a counselor, there is a good idea. The three of you can look at the tremendous strides this little girl has made over the past year, celebrate those, and then make suggestions on how to accelerate her academic learning for next year.

It helps to point out that each child learns differently (the girl may not learn like her older brother), and that when one is learning in one sphere (behavior) one might lag behind in another (academics). If her child had been more prepared socially for kindergarten you could have accelerated her academic learning, but you just didn't want to overwhelm her! Mom may be able to accept that explanation and develop a more positive attitude toward her child's development. You'll also be passing on a parent who may be less critical and frustrated, making the first grade teacher's task easier. Good luck.