another thought

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Home : 2002 : May : 4

another thought
By Suzie

I once had a grade one student that was quite destructive and likewise called himself "bad".I had just transfered to the school. The kindergarten teacher warned me that he had thrown chairs and physically hurt other children.
I used all of my behaviour modification strategies and tried to build up his self-esteem.
At the end of October, he started off the day in a particularly violent mood. After the third trip to the office to calm down, his mother was called(a nice parent). We were unable to get ahold of her so he sat in the office for the rest of the morning. She picked him up at lunch and he stayed

home for the rest of the day.

I called her after school and we talked about his behavior. She apologized and explained how it was her fault. The family had gone bowling the night before and then went for icecream. She explained his "milk allergy" and how it affects his mood. She feels awful when his siblings can have icecream and he can't.

I was surprised to hear about the allergy (nothing in the file)and told her so. She explained that she did not want her child "labelled" so she did not put it on the registration forms. I replied that he was "labelled" as the "mean kid" and this is much worse than having a "medical issue".

The next day was Halloween and I was going to let the children pick one of five mini chocolate bars and then we were going to graph the wrappers to see which was the most/least popular.(I only do this if there are no allergies - thus the reason I had checked the records) I told the mother how I would have "contributed" to his violent mood by just doing this simple activity. Of course, there was also a party planned for the afternoon with treats. She offered (with my coaxing) to supply a large bag of potato chips (that he was allowed to have) that he could share with the class and I dropped the chocolate bar activity. I encouraged her to talk to him and teach him to say no thank you to food that he was to avoid.

The next day was great. He seemed calmer and I helped him say no thank you to certain treats that were offered to him. He enjoyed passing out his chips - a real boost as the rest of the children were saying "thank you to him" instead of complaining about him.

The next week, I helped him explain to the class that he was not allowed to share recess snacks and I asked the other children not to offer them (as that makes it harder to refuse them). I was amazed at how mature these first graders handled everything. My "bad boy" became the "smart kid" as his academic skills really took off!! The class was so much better and the year turned into a pleasant one.

My only regret is that I don't know what ever became of him. I transferred to another school the next year and my old co-workers told me that his family moved. I hope the mom felt secure enough to tell the next school before they had to discover it. He should be a teen by now.