Dealing with Parents

Home

Chat

Blogs

Collection

Directory

Home : 2001 : July : 28

Dealing with Parents
By Carolyn

Parents don't always have respect for the brand-new teacher. This may even apply to the experienced teacher in a NEW school. I also worked with a new principal this past year, and the parents even tried him.

Some advice
when dealing with parents, especially irate ones: Don't let them corner you alone without an appointment. If you allow them to do that, they may very well try to walk all over you, leaving you feel as if you have "lost" by the end of the meeting. If an irate parent wants to speak with you, try to be sure that another faculty member who knows the parent is present at the meeting. Other

persons to consider having at the meeting are: the principal (if he/she is available) and the guidance counselor. I think it's important to let the principal know what has happened if he/she was not able to be present at the meeting.

If a parent just shows up at the office and wishes to speak with you about his/her child's grades or some other item, inform the secretary to tell the parent that you would very much like to meet him/her, but that you have an appointment you must rush off to. Ask if you can schedule a time which is convenient for the parent to meet with you. By doing this, you have time to prepare yourself appropriately for the meeting, and you can arrange to have appropriate staff present at the meeting. NEVER, EVER meet alone with a parent. Always try to schedule an appointment and find out the purpose of the meeting in advance.

At the meeting: If a parent is irate and yelling, allow him/her to vent before you say anything. Once the steam is vented and he/she has calmed down a bit, you can say what you need to. Give him/her plenty of time to vent before you talk. Speak in a tone of voice which is quite opposite to what he/she spoke in--soft, soothing. You may be churning on the inside, but remain as calm as you can. Your calmness will calm such parents down. You don't ever want to resort to a disagreeable match with the parents any more than you want them to step all over you. Show that you respect the parent's point of view, but try to get him/her to see you own. Don't be defensive. Chances are, the parent will leave feeling as if something has been accomplished. Keep in mind that some parents are just difficult, and nothing you say or do will pacify them.