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Home : 2007 : Dec : 2

    I have been waiting to live again.
    By breathe

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    I feel like I have been waiting for 4 and a half years for it to get easier, to become the teacher I thought I could be and to feel like I can balance work and a fulfilling personal life. None of this has come. I am still waiting. I wait for the weekend only to have to work more. I wait for summer just so that I can stop feel like I am drowning and so that I can feel like I can indulge in some time not thinking about work, in some time where I can regain strength, health and my center...only to have less and less of that time to myself. It seems the more time in the field the more they pile on your plate or expect you to pile on yourself "voluntarily."

    I wait to have energy. I never have the energy to be the person in this life that I want to be for myself or as a role model for students. I donít want to pretend to students any more that I am living the life I want or want them to have or that I got an education so that I could have the opportunity to have this job that I so visibly am not happy with. I believe in myself and what the world has to offer me that I know there is more out there.

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