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Home : 2007 : Nov : 11

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    By JRichard
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    I don't know how well this would work for you, but I'd give it a shot. I am a Love & Logic teacher. One of the things Jim Fay recommends for those tough kids is to befriend them and get them on your side. You don't do this by being a pushover, or acting like a kid, though. It's kind of a sneaky, subliminal way of doing it, but it has worked for me in the past. The reason why I am not sure if this will work for you is because I am in a more average city, there is no "inner city" here, although we are Title I. Sometimes people from generational poverty don't respond the same to L&L, but it might be worth a shot!

    Anyway, this technique is called the 1 minute intervention. You write down a list of six things to notice about the boy. The thing you notice should not be schoolwork related. Some examples: you stick up for your friends, you like the color blue, you are always on time, etc.

    Twice a week, walk up to him, and with no preamble, say, "I noticed you __________." Say NOTHING ELSE--do not add, "and I like that," or any other value judgment. If he responds with ANYTHING, just say, "Well, I wanted you to know that." and walk away.

    After three weeks, you should notice some change in behavior. At this point, try this statement the next time he acts up, "Would you stop doing that, just for me? Thanks." If he has become closer to you, he may or may not stop.

    Actually, now that I am thinking about this, you might want to start with the "weakest" boy first, and work your way "up" through the group. Maybe you might work on two at a time? Since Z is the leader, he will probably want to save face and will not respond right away for fear of looking bad to his friends. BUT if his friends are already backing off for you, he may feel some pressure from them to lay off.

    Why does this work? Jim Fay says by noticing something about the child (without a value judgment), you are giving him the message, "You are important. I think about you and notice you." Since there is no value judgment attached, it's hard for the child to reject the statement ("Aw, she's just being nice," etc.). It can get past their "affective filter" this way and sticks in their brain.

    Because the child has the message that you think they are important, they will be more LIKELY to act good for you. That doesn't mean they will be perfect, but they will want to be better for you in general.

    As I said, I've done this with success. Jim says that if you do the 1 minute intervention correctly and it DOESN'T work, you can call up the Love & Logic Institute and they will put Jim (or his son, Charles) on the phone and he will personally help you with the child! To me, that makes it totally worth trying!

    HTH
    Jenny

    View the original thread this idea was posted on


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