I wish I could come and give you a break.

Home

Chat

Blogs

Collection

Directory

Home : 2001 : January : 31

I wish I could come and give you a break.
By kristy

We have talked about this before and there are obviously no easy answers for his behaviors -- and certainly none that you can make happen given the lack of support and family resistence. So, like others have said, it is
probably healthier to just accept that and find a way to cope. First thing, I would be insisting right now on knowing who will be subbing while the aide is gone. If there will be no sub, the kid should be staying at home during that time. If the administration won't support that, then you stay home -- certainly the thought of dealing with him alone for 2 weeks can make you sick. Do you

have sick leave left? Use every bit of it. I don't mean that to be spiteful, but to save your sanity. On a similar vein, could you request some sort of long term leave for the rest of the year? I know you are worried about the repercussions of quitting, but on the other hand, are there people just standing in line for your job? Can you use that as leverage? Another thought, rather extreme though, is to hire a lawyer and ask him to come to school to observe your working conditions -- his presence alone may have some effect or he may be able to advise you.

As you do deal with the kid, remember always to protect yourself -- specifically your reputation. Refuse to be alone with him. Even if he throws a tantrum. If he does throw a tantrum, take him to the principal and say, we had to leave the library because .... and since I will not be alone with this child, he'll need to be here or you'll need to come up with some other option. If the principal won't back that, stay wherever you are when he throws a fit and say, "I'm sorry I have no safe place to remove him to, so we'll have to stay here. If that bothers you, please speak with Mr. whoever."

When you do work with this kid, make no waves -- don't push him.

And finallly, about the sexual stuff -- try to take the sexual aspect out of it and remember that for him it is a physical impulse not much different than being hungry -- sexual impulses are very primitive. He didn't have to see it or learn it anywhere -- it is a natural impulse in a child with no impulse control. And, more than that, he probably does get some power kick out of knowing that you are upset. Block his inappropriate action, but say nothing. Don't look at him. Redirect like nothing had happened. Try to limit the reinforcement that he gets -- remember reaction is reinforcing.

Well, this has gotten kind of long -- I'm so sorry that you've been battling this for soooo long. Keep us posted.