Has anyone else ever been through this??? and an update...

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Home : 2001 : January : 31

Has anyone else ever been through this??? and an update...
By Anonymous, Again

Cathy-Dee,

I agree with you about much of what you said. I have often been concerned that some other person at the school would misinterpret what is really going on and that causes me great concern. It used to be just trying
to look up a women's skirt, which is why all along I have worn shorts under my skirts for dresses, because that is what most of my wardrobe is and I can't afford to go get a whole new wardrobe!! He has long since said "Kiss me, (and my name after that)", although NEVER SUCH A THING HAS HAPPENED!!! I have never felt too comfortable hugging my students, which never really happened before

I came here. He used to run up and throw his arms around you and give you a hug. I would gently pat his back, tell him thank you for the nice hug, and that would be that. But lately, I will have my back turned or working with another student when the aid brings him out to go do something, and he will run up and hug me. He often his started to move his hips very inapporpriately when doing so, which really bothers me. I don't want to shove him away, but I have really tried to make sure I am placed in the room where I can see him coming, and prepare for it. Many of the other people in the room say the same things...what do we do? We don't want to just shove him away! I do have many witnesses who have seen him just come up me and do this, and it did happen to another aid last year before I was here. Many people know its very commonplace for him have inappoprtiate sexual behaviors. The parents (acutually, they are his gaurdians, not his real parents) get irate when you mention this. His new aid who is his relative tells me he still sleeps with them (HE IS 11!!!) and I wonder if he doesn't pick up some of this behavior from that! They say that he is picking up these behaviors at school! Well, I don't see them going on anywhere else in our school, so that's really scary..what if they try to say he is getting them from me????? What a horrible lie that would be and it could ruin my career. This seems like such a horrible situation, with so many issues, that the only way out is in May, when I can leave and never look back. I feel soooo bad for whomever decideds to take this position next year. They're really in for a nighmare!!! This new aid for him won't ever docucment any behaviors when I am not there, which she is required to by law cause its in his IEP. That is a whole other post I have placed on here somewhere. When I have him, I'm documenting like crazy, but that makes it look like that he is only naughty for me. SO NOT TRUE!!! We hear out in our main room what goes on behind the door to his little room. The administration could care less if the aid documents, they want her to stay until the end of the year, and they feel pushing the issue will cause her to quit and even I don't want that! Even when she is in the building, he acts quite a bit better. Sometimes I think the family requested her, though, to cover up a lot of the behaviors going on.

I am going to tell them tommorrow that if the aid is gone, I REFUSE to be alone with him. Perhaps we can go to the library and work, but when he throws his fits, I am sure we will have to leave! I am quite scared that if I rock the boat too much, I will have quite a mess on my hands. I don't know if I should just shut up and take this abuse for 4 months...which is a horrible long time, considering the aid will be gone for a whole two weeks coming up here shortly...or if I should stand up for my rights. What to do???

We have tried the vidoe thing...and this part really is upsetting. He knows what a vidoe camera is...and he always acts like a perfect angel when there is one around!!!! I wonder if we could hide one somewhere...if I am within my rights to request such a thing be done. I am sure the adminstration would fight it...because if these things were caught on tape, and all along the did nothing to protect me after I have gone to them so many times, wouldn't they be in trouble??? I don't want to cause trouble for anyone....I just want to go to work and teach my 9 students the very best I can and get out in May. Some days...I just feel like I'm drowning.