I Have Lost It By Give Up

I just sat here and studied my students' standardized test scores. Stuck with a host of bilingual students, lazy pupils and parents who either didn't care or chose to make excuses, the scores were horrible. Out of my 45 kids,

I had about 10 that didn't come close to passing. In fact, one scored a 1. The common denominator is me. I won't make excuses, I don't have it any more. I want to quit, because there are crazy thoughts running through my head right now. I became a cop this year. I miss few days, despite being in pain with a debilitating disease. "Take Disability," everyone tells me, but as long as I

can crawl I will work. I tried my best, jeez I tried my best. No birthday ignored; no achievement brushed aside; every home problem sympathized and dealt with compassionately; every hunger pang relieved out of my pocket. The kids deserve better than what I can give. Teaching shouldn't be like this. We should be respected and not have to compete with the ballyhooed misdeeds of Paris Hilton, Barry Bonds, the casts of Survivor and your typical rap star. I am not a kid. I've been in this 15 years, never giving up on my kids despite the poverty stricken locale....I don't understand.

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