Advice needed

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Home : 2006 : June : 25

Advice needed
By Anon

Although the past school year was a great one I do have one issue I can't seem to get past. For the two years prior to this school year I worked with an outstanding assistant. The kind that wants to be a teacher some day
and goes above and beyond all the time. Well for the two years we worked together we had what I thought was a great working relationship and I felt we also had developed a good personal friendship. We had a lot in common and even our kids played together. This past year I was asked to move to a new grade level and accepted, but I would no longer have a full time assisstant and therefore

my assistant was assigned to a different teacher. The teacher she was assisgned to she liked very much and her child was in the class the previous year. So I felt like all worked out for the best.

The teacher who she was assigned to was my mentee the previous year so I had become quite close with her. She came to me for advice and we shared ideas. We hung out a little, but I definetly felt that not only were we close as colleagues, but that we had become friends.

Now fast forward to this year and my ex-assistant and ex-mentee are now teaching partners. While I felt initially like things were different between both of them and myself I tried to brush it off. I figured that is was just because our working conditions had changed and they were just busy trying to begin a new school year. As the school year went on I continued to feel that there was now a great distance between myself and them, but tried to just let it go. As I look back on the year now I really feel that there was more to it than us just being busy in our new working conditions. The teacher no longer needed a mentor so she only came to me a couple of times last year to borrow or something or ask a question. The assistant talked to me a little more but I think it was only because her child was in my class and we had to have a relationship. I even told her how much I missed working with her and how much I appreciated all she did. She said she missed me too.

The bottom line is I feel like I lost 2 good friends and I don't know why. I can't recall anything I did, I just know things "feel" very different. The two are very close and keep their door closed and stay in their room most of the time. Many other staff members have commented how "close and exclusive" the two are and say they feel uncomfortable even going into their room to ask a question. I have to agree. I have mentioned to a couple teachers how I feel like they are distant to me and they are shocked because they thought we were all close.

My question is do I talk to them (seperately) maybe an email and ask them if I have done something or do I just move on? I thought an email would give them time to think and respond without being put on the spot. I am sure if I talk/email them they will talk to each other about it. However maybe the friendships that I thought we had were never really there and I am over-analyzing things. Any suggestions are welcome.